A Miserable Life Chapter 3

PREVIOUSLY:

Suddenly I felt him pull me up into a hug.....

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I hugged him back and rested my head on his chest while crying harder. Rashed tryed to calm me down, he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

Rashed: "I'm sorry" he whispered and hugged me tighter.

After a few minutes I calmed down and we went to the car. All I wanted to do right now is reach home, take a shower and go to sleep. The ride back home was very awkward, all I did was stare at my hands which were placed on my lap. Rashed suddenly stopped the car and when I looked out the window I realized that he didn't take me back home. He got out of the car and made his way to my side of the car and opened the door.

Rashed: "let's go for a walk"

Me: "hmm? But I'm tired and I want to go home" I said in a very low voice 

Rashed: "Just for a little while, we need to talk"

Me: "ok"

I went down and we went to walk by the beach in JBR. At first he was quiet and he didn't say anything, but then he started talking.

Rashed: "ummm..Alyaziah"

Me: "hmm"

Rashed: "look I don't know how to really say this, but I'm just gonna go ahead with it. Alyaziah, we both are gonna get married to each other whether we like it or not"

Me: "I know"

Rashed: "but.. The problem here is I don't really know you to like you. Off course we'll have to get to know each other and everything, but even if we do I won't be able to love you" as soon as he said that I felt like I just got slapped in my face, I just wanted to know why. He stopped for a second and just kept looking at me trying to read my facial expressions but I didn't show him anything and just had a straight face trying to not let the tears come out. He completed what he was saying, "you see, there's someone in my life already, and I even told my mum about her since I wanted to propose to her but then my father suddenly calls and says I'm getting married to my cousin. I was mad and shocked at the same time since everything I had planned for my future with Sara was ruined" I couldn't look him in the eye thinking he might see the sadness in them and just stared down at the sand. "Alyaziah, I know that what I said was a bit harsh" a bit harsh!! A bit!!! You don't know how much you hurt me!! "But you had to know the truth. I agreed to this because it's what both our fathers want. We'll get married but still have our separate lives. I'm not breaking up with sara no matter what happens because I love her. You can do whatever you want and can also talk to your boyfriend even if we're married, I won't mind." Boyfriend?! Boyfriend!!! I don't have a god damn boyfriend!! I don't date because my morals won't allow me to!! Because I have my dignity!! What was he saying!! Does he really think of me that low!!

Me: "So, you mean we'll only be married by papers?"

Rashed: "Yes, exactly that! So what do you say? Do you agree"

Me: "well, I don't know"

Rashed: "Either way you'll have to because you don't have any other choice"

Me: "ok can you take me back home now"

Rashed: "sure, let's go" he said as we went back to the car and headed home.

As soon as I entered our house I ran upstairs to my bedroom and started crying. I couldn't handle it. My dad thought that I would be happy, but no he was wrong. I went to the bathroom and filled the bathtub. Tears were streaming down my face as I was laying in a tub full of water. I couldn't believe what happened. Now I was determined to set a new goal! My goal is to do whatever it takes to stop us from getting married. No matter what happens, I won't marry that lifeless guy. I'M NOT MARRYING HIM AND THAT'S FINAL!!!