PREVIOUSLY:
I decided I'll stay quiet for her sake and see how she is these upcoming days, I hope she'll go back to my old alyaziah because I'm not liking her right now.
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Alyaziah: "I never knew you smoked"
I just looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
Alyaziah: "It's not good for you"
Me: "and since when did you care"
Alyaziah: "what?... Rashed I always cared"
Me: "right"
Alyaziah: "whats that supposed to mean"
I can tell that she was mad now and I wasn't in the mood to argue about anything with her.
Me: "ana t3ban w broo7 anam! Don't stay up too late"
I walked away without even looking at her and immediately went to sleep. I woke up the next morning and looked to my left but it seems that she hasn't slept at all last night oorrrr she did but somewhere else. I looked for her in the living room but she wasn't there. I went up to my sisters room and found her there, the door wasn't closed completely and I could see her from my point. I saw her while she sat on the bed hugging her knees and crying. I didn't know what was wrong but I just couldn't stand seeing her like that. I walked in and took her in my arms, I kept calming her down until I heard no voice. I backed away a bit and looked at her. She was asleep. I layed her in bed and sat beside her thinking to myself what am I gonna do with her? How am I gonna make her open up? I don't know why but I think that she doesn't trust me enough. She woke up a few hours later.
Me: "9ba7 el 5air", I said as I kissed her forehead.
Alyaziah: "9ba7 el noor"
Me: "feeling better now"
Alyaziah: "mhmm"
Me: "can you please tell me what's wrong?"
Alyaziah: "I don't want to talk about it"
Me: "alyaziah I'm your husband! I have the right to know!"
Alyaziah: "rashed please!"
Me: "ugh! Fine but your gonna tell me sooner or later! Now get changed and lets go take a swim in the pool"
Alyaziah: "ok"
We both got changed and went out to the pool. I could see that she was afraid but I didn't really know from what. I pulled her closer to me by putting my left arm around her waist. She fidgeted by my actions and tried to get far away from me. That's when I knew that she feared me. But why? We seemed to be doing fine in the past couple of days. Why is she acting this way? I was curious. I ignored and jumped in the pool while she sat on the chair and stared at me. Weeks passed and she hasn't changed. She would refuse to talk to me or even come close to me. Ever since we went back home, she slept in the other room. I don't know what's wrong with her and I'm fed up with trying to let her talk so I just let her be.
Alyaziah's P.O.V:
I couldn't tell him. I couldn't say that I was pregnant. It made me devestated when I knew I lost the soul that was in me. I refused to get intimate with him because he didn't know. At first it was because I didn't want him to see the scars on my body. Yes I had scars from the beating I got. One of the mornings without anyone knowing, I went to my fathers place. Those women were still there, I tried dragging them out but couldn't. They were screaming and I started fighting physically with them. I've had enough and I didn't want them anywhere near my father. He was there just watching them beat me up. He told them to stop and I thought to myself for a few seconds that yes that's my father, he won't allow this and he's going to let them go. But I was wrong, my father stood up and came close to me, I thought that he would help me up but no he didn't. Instead, he kicked me right there in the middle where my baby was. I didn't know I was pregnant until I went to the hospital and the nurse said "you'll be okay ma'am but I'm sorry for your loss", I didn't know what she meant, my loss? What did I lose? "What loss?" I asked "oh, you didn't know you were pregnant" I shook my head as in no as tears came rolling down my cheeck. Why? God why did this happen to me? Why did I have to go to my father? Why???
A few months passed by and no one knew. Rashed and me were growing apart. I would rarely see him. It's like we're two strangers living together. I want to fix things and I'm trying. But first he needs to know. I need to tell him. I will.
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